Q: I’M RECENTLY SINGLE AFTER BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 10 YEARS. I’D LIKE TO START DATING. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT MOST MEN THINK OF WOMEN WHO DATE MULTIPLE MEN AT A TIME? IS THIS SOMETHING THAT MEN FIND ATTRACTIVE OR UNATTRACTIVE?
A: So, the last time you were single, George W. was still our president and I wasn’t of legal drinking age yet. Don’t worry – I’m sure not a lot has changed on the dating scene since then. I think any guy who was one of those “multiple” men would just want to know where they stand. How serious are the other relationships? How seriously are you looking for a relationship? To be honest, I also think most guys would want to find out the distinction between “dating” and “sleeping with.” I’m not sure you’ll encounter many men who would admit to finding this attractive, but why? It certainly showcases a double standard. We all know if the genders were reversed, dudes would be high-fiving each other after bragging about scoring multiple women at the same time. But, until guys see the error in our ways, I’d say just be up front about what you want. It could be just what the next guy is looking for.
Q: WHAT STRIKES YOU FIRST ABOUT A WOMAN’S APPEARANCE?
A: That’s a tough question, and the answer certainly changes depending on each guy you ask. But, for me, I’d say two big factors are (no, not what you’re thinking) a woman’s eyes and style. I’m sure a good number of men gravitate immediately to a woman’s – ahem – assets, but eyes can be so expressive. They can show emotion and personality without even speaking. I think the same perhaps goes for a woman’s sense of style, which is much more noticeable than eyes when you simply encounter someone on the street. But, I’m not talking about expensive clothing labels. In fact, that may deter men sometimes (put away the Uggs). It’s about presentation. When I met my wife, she was working at a diner, and was wearing a T-shirt with the diner’s name and corduroy pants with coffee stains. If she could make that look good, what else could she do?
Q: HOW DO YOU THINK MEN AND WOMEN VIEW BODY IMAGE DIFFERENTLY?
A: First off, I think it’s pretty obvious that men have it easier. Multiple people have told me that women simply care less about a man’s looks versus personality, and I’m not sure the same holds true for men. I think how we view our own body image is often skewed by pop culture. Regardless of people’s natural inclinations, the mainstream media often perpetuate expectations and stereotypes, especially for men. Just look at popular TV shows and films, where there are countless examples of couples that consist of a beautiful, petite woman with a chubby, slovenly dressed guy. There have been more and more stories coming out of Hollywood about actresses who are told they are too old for parts, while men the same age or older (and much uglier) continue to land lead roles. Which gender do you think receives more plastic surgery? But, I think there have also been recent examples that body image standards may be changing, albeit slowly. This year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit magazine was the first to feature a plus-size model on the cover, and Mattel recently released a new line of Barbie dolls featuring different body types, including “curvy” and tall. Now, if they’d just make a Ken doll with a beer gut and back hair, we’d all feel a little better.