Get Greedy

When I learned this season’s issue of Maine Women magazine had an emphasis on finance, I was quite excited. I began to race through different investment approaches and theories, and then it became a bit overwhelming.

Not knowing where to start and only choosing one aspect to write about had me going in a million different directions. I then shifted my mindset, and thought about what advice I would give myself right now as an advisor. That made things much easier.

I have had the privilege of working with many women over my time in the financial industry. These wonderful people have come from all different backgrounds and have been in various points in their lives financially. One common aspect that I tend to see regardless of monetary status, myself included, is the presence of guilt.

While I am sure the male population also feels a certain amount of negativity about putting themselves first in their financial journey, women seem to display it more outwardly. In fact, many times when a client and I are working to get to the bottom of why they are making a particular choice, or feeling uneasy about an action, it boils down to feeling guilty in one form or another. This negativity around putting our financial best interest first, and setting strong financial boundaries is hindering many women’s potential growth. I know for me personally; I occasionally have these conflicting inner voices. One that says, “go for it, you work hard and deserve it.” The other says,“maybe you are being ungrateful, this should be enough” or “someone else deserves this.”

Greed, it’s a dirty word to many. The desire to want more than what we have. We all feel it at one point or another, and to say we wouldn’t, would be untruthful. It appears women are expected to “be nice” and not be greedy. It is almost as if society is pressuring us to just be content with safety and existence. That if we want to be the best, if we want to make more money, and/or want financial security than we are conceded. If we say no, we are selfish. If we want to set boundaries, we are uncaring. What I am quickly discovering is that we need to be a little more self-centered. We need to know that wanting more is a sign of growth, not greed. We are allowed to put our needs first and set boundaries that help propel us towards our goals. Whether it is taking control of our financial planning, asking for a raise, saying no to extra spending on gifts, parties, or family. Putting your needs first is okay, and necessary.

“You deserve to be financially secure and thriving for all the work that you do. ”

Danielle Abbott of Danielle Abbott coaching says that at first, boundaries may feel like you are saying no, and therefore leave you with a negative feeling. However, Danielle argues that setting boundaries is important and are in fact a positive act, “boundaries are something that keep us safe; boundaries are what allows us to say YES to the things that light us up, boundaries allow us to protect our mental and emotional health, and boundaries provide guard rails on our path to our goals in order to reach them faster and with less stress.” Financial boundaries are no different. Saying no now means you can redirect your energy to achieving your goals and leads to potentially more yes opportunities later.

I had a conversation with a client who wanted to be able to give her mother a trip or do something nice for her. I think she knew the best move was to check some of her financial goals and to-dos first (like contributing to her IRA for the year). However, she was so riddled with guilt about putting herself first she was frozen in place. All she really needed was the figurative permission to put herself first, and someone to tell her it was ok.

What she and I discussed were oxygen masks. On an airplane, they tell you that in an event of an emergency you need to put the mask on yourself before assisting others. This is because you are not helpful to anyone if you pass out due to lack of oxygen. Finance is very similar; you will not be able to meaningfully help others if your bank account “passes out.” Helping yourself first now means you may be able to help more and more meaningfully later.

So, I suppose my number one financial advice for women (including myself) is don’t settle. You deserve to be financially secure and thriving for all the work that you do. Take care of your wants and needs before you overextend yourself to others. After you have taken care of all the basics and have yourself in a healthy financial position, that’s when you can begin helping others. It’s okay to be a little greedy, because that means you are growing, and growth is good.

This material is provided as a courtesy and for educational purposes only. Please consult your investment professional, legal or tax advisor for specific information pertaining to your situation.