Exploring All Versions of Ourselves
SARAH MACLAUGHLIN IS A SOCIAL WORKER AND AUTHOR; HER MOST RECENT BOOK IS RAISING HUMANS WITH HEART: NOT A HOW-TO MANUAL.
In her captivating and prophetic Parable series, Octavia E. Butler imagines a dystopian future in which her strong female character—Lauren Olamina—suggests that “The only lasting truth is change.” This feels right as the world constantly shifts and humans keep evolving and changing, too, sometimes growing out of old personalities and ways of being.
Often, we don’t fully integrate those “old selves” along the way. While previous versions of self may lie dormant, they can also be brought back to the forefront by anparticular person or event. Have you ever regressed to your inner 5-year-old around members of your family of origin? Or felt resistant to someone else’s advice or suggestion and realized that your inner adolescent was suddenly doing the talking? Previous aspects of self aren’t simply the ”inner child”—it’s actually quite a bit more complex in there.
When an outdated, younger version or old aspect of yourself has resurfaced, it can be uncomfortable—or it can be liberating. There are many ways to explore your personal inner landscape. Doing so can lead to better self- awareness, emotional literacy, and self-regulation. One example, Internal Family Systems (IFS), is a psychological approach sometimes referred to as “parts” work because it considers the internal “self” to be an amalgam of different elements, or parts. For example, almost everyone has an inner critic, and there’s bound to be various iterations of the childlike self. These parts are generally categorized into two types: “exiles,” which are parts that are wounded, vulnerable, and carry traumatic or difficult memories, and “protectors,” which are parts that work to keep the exiles safe by managing emotions, behavior, and thoughts—all in the name of equilibrium and peace.
In IFS these parts are considered subpersonalities that can be worked with in order to make sense of past experiences and even process trauma. This approach can foster a sense of wholeness and self-acceptance. Many therapists are trained in the IFS model and you can also learn more in the many books written by its founder, Richard C. Schwartz, including No Bad Parts.
A simplified form of IFS can be had if you watch (or rewatch) Pixar’s Inside Out. You get a clearer picture of the different “parts” we’re all likely to have with a peek inside protagonist Riley’s psyche at her various emotions and how they take turns being in charge. Her behavior varies widely depending on whether Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, or Disgust is in the driver’s seat. The way that the numerous characters work together (and are sometimes at odds!) is very indicative of IFS parts work.
Change can be invigorating and so can discovering new parts of yourself. The goal of IFS is to help you recognize and connect with these many parts in order to understand how they interact with each other. This can lead to greater insights into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and help you develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
